


Family

by Mierke



Category: South of Nowhere
Genre: Episode Tag, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 05:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mierke/pseuds/Mierke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashley doesn’t want to lose Aiden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family

**Author's Note:**

> **Fandom & Disclaimer:** South of Nowhere – It’s not mine, it’s Thomas W. Lynch’s.  
> I’m just borrowing his world and very thankful for the chance.  
>  **Prompt:** Brothers  & Sisters for [](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=love_bingo)[](http://www.dreamwidth.org/profile?user=love_bingo)**love_bingo**  
>  **Spoilers/Timeline:** Episode tag for _Too Many Girls, Not Enough Aiden_  
> 

Ashley parked her car and walked towards the sand. The beach was deserted; people had fled from the very rain that had attracted her to the sea. She needed the space to think, to reconnect with who she was. She didn't know where Spencer was, but for the moment she didn't really care.

She had left her shoes behind in the car and the sand tickled her bare feet. As she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, she could taste the salt in the air on her tongue. It tasted like freedom. Freedom that seemed to be far gone from the rest of her life. Getting her relationship with Spence out in the open should have felt liberating, but instead she felt suffocated.

She hated defending who she was, who she was with, what she was doing. She just wanted to be herself, no freaking labels or adversaries to battle. And now Spencer was on her case about Aiden? Aiden was the only semblance of normalcy she had been able to hold on to.

She walked a bit further towards the sea, the waves covering her feet. Another deep breath; the droplets on her cheeks were from the rain, obviously. Ashley Davies did _not_ cry over a girl. For a moment she flirted with the notion of going out in the sea, of losing herself in the water. Not to die, just to feel the freedom of having anywhere to go and no one to interrogate her about it.

The water coming up forced her higher up on the beach, and she had to leave the relative quiet of the sea sounds. Here she could hear the road behind her; had to remember that there was a world she had to get back to. Spencer to get back to. She loved Spencer. Ashley had never been this sure of her own feelings before and that scared her. What if, for Spencer, this was just an experiment? What if Paula got through to her? What if Ashley messed it up?

What if she just wasn't good enough?

Another steadying breath. She wanted to call Aiden, but wasn't sure if she should. Was it wrong to long for her best friend when she was so scared? She needed someone in her life to talk to. She needed her _family_. Why couldn't Spencer realize that she had Arthur, and Clay, who would love her unconditionally? For Ashley, there was Aiden. Just Aiden.

"He is my family!" she screamed with all her might against the wind.

"I know!"

It was Spencer's voice that the wind carried back to her and Ashley turned around. She didn't have much time to process the fact that her girlfriend had come to find her, as Spencer tackled her to the ground, covering Ashley's body with her own.

"I'm sorry," Spencer said, with that sincerity all over her face that Ashley loved so much. "I get jealous."

Ashley rolled away from Spencer, ignoring the hurt in her girlfriend's eyes. She was not ready yet to touch, afraid she would give in to her instincts and take the easy way out, using sex as an escape for the conversation they needed to have.

"He is a part of me, Spence. You can't just expect me to erase that."

Ashley stood up, putting some distance between them.

"I don't! I just..."

Spencer got to her feet, her hands gesturing as she was trying to find a way to explain. Ashley cut her off.

"Yes, you do! Aiden told me you asked him to back off."

"He _told_ you?"

The indignation in Spencer's eyes only infuriated Ashley more.

"He is supposed to tell me! Did you ever stop to realize that him ignoring me would _hurt_ me?"

Spencer looked as if Ashley had slapped her.

"I... I didn't think of that."

"Obviously."

There was silence, then. They looked at each other, their breathing hard.

"He is my family," Ashley repeated. "You say you know, and you say you're sorry, but I don't think you understand. He is all I've got. He is my brother, my confidant, my best friend, he is the one I turn to when life gets too messed up to deal with. I get scared, Spence. I get scared, and lonely, and I don't have parents to support me and to hold me. I have Aiden."

"But you dated him. And you were going to have his baby. And you looked so _happy_."

"You knew this all before! And I won't deny that I was in love with him. I was. But not anymore. I love _you_. I want to be with you. But sometimes life just gets too much and I need someone to talk to. And Aiden is... He knows me. He knows who I am and what I've gone through and I don't have to worry about losing him, you know?"

Ashley watched as Spencer took her hands in her own, the soft feel of Spencer's fingers around hers somehow right. Like they belonged.

"You don't have to worry about losing me, Ash. I love you. All of you. The good parts and the annoying parts."

Ashley laughed, despite not wanting to.

"I will try to understand, but I get scared too, and lonely. Are you... Are you ever as happy with me as you were with Aiden?"

"It was different," Ashley said. "Life was somehow... easier back then. We were younger, and my dad was still alive, and it was all very family friendly, you know? He was a guy and I was a girl and yes, I got pregnant, but even that somehow seemed to elevate the fantasy. With you, what we have, it's real. And that means it's painful, and scary, and sometimes I want to run away."

She touched her forehead to Spencer's, her hands finding their way around Spencer's waist.

"But in essence, it's love, pure and simple. And that makes me happy."


End file.
